it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
