Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
