these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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