i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
