Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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