Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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