where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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