Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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