I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
