have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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