covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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