I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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