I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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