I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
