We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
