If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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