oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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