Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
