She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
