wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
