ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
