Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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