at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
