The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
