I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
