Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
