I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize