Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize