that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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