I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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