Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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