I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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