her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
