An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
