lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
