don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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