Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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