I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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