my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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