They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize