Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
