She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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