why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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