whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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