One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
