Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?