My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.