he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.