We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.