Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
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They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven