Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
