Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
