Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
