I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
