I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
