I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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