Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
