you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
