I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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