I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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