went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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