they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize