He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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